What to say to children facing the death of a loved one?
Death is “as natural as birth and life,” writes Diana Dworin,[1] quoting Theresa Huntley,[2] who also suggests parents seize “teachable moments,” like obituary notices or backyard burials of pets, as ways to “help even a young child learn about the process of grieving.”
When their dog died, Dworin told her kids: “God’s connection to us never changes—whether we live or die, or whether we’re people or poodles.”[3]
Whatever happened to the Easter gospel, that Jesus Christ died and rose again to give us life forever in Him? Is the Easter gospel too threatening for kids? Nothing, in the materials Dworin presents, ever mentions the Easter gospel.[4]
Something’s seriously wrong.[5]
[1] “Dealing with death. Framing it as a natural part of life helps children grieve,” The Lutheran, March 2012, p.41. It’s O.K. to tell children about the manger but not the cross and resurrection?
[2] Theresa Huntley, Helping Children Grieve: When Someone They Love Dies (Augsburg Fortress 2002).
[3] “Our family’s first loss,” The Lutheran, March 6, 2009. See also “Talking to children about disasters.” The Lutheran, March 2010.
[4] Dworin also givesa quarter of her page in the Lutheran to The Fall of Freddie The Leaf (Buscaglia)! There is a place for psychology, to be sure, but how can a Christian omit the Easter gospel when dealing with death, even with children?
[5] Perhaps Dworin’s regular column in The Lutheran, titled “Pass the faith,” should be titled “Pass over the faith.”